Tell Me What Happened

Mourning and Community

A wisewoman told me about a cultural practice that, when someone in the village dies, the other villagers visit, one villager a day, for a year after the death. They come with this question: “Tell me (the story of) what happened (name of loved one).” And then they sit with the bereaved and listen.

It’s the storytelling aspect that helps the bereaved person or family. Different family members may speak to the question. They may tell certain parts of the story one day and other parts another day, until---over a year---they have pretty much emptied out the story of their loss as well as honored their loved one in the telling.

After being told about this ancient practice of grieving & honoring the dead, I knew I wanted to somehow incorporate it into my spiritual practice and grieving process.

The intention with my version of these stories is to share my own pain and loss to help lighten another person’s load, so perhaps they can feel less alone, and to also facilitate my own healing. So as these stories unfold, it will be as I imagine: a friend comes to the door, I brew tea or open wine, and as we settle into my cozy velvet chairs in the lounge, I hear, “Tell me the story of what happened to Bob.”

I hope you find them inspiring and heartwarming.

♥️🦚♥️